Thoughts of a Narcissistic Dutchman

Monday, October 24, 2005

Denny's, Catholics, and The Red Cross

A glimpse into the past weekend:

On Friday I worked a busy afternoon shift that included an enormous delivery to a local nursing home -- I suspect they were trying to kill off some of the patients with all the grease that comes with twelve pizzas. The bill came to $98 and some odd change. The guy pays me with a $100 bill and says "keep the change." My eyes nearly bugged out when he said this, and it took all of the restraint I had been forced to learn during Capstone (which was a lot considering some of the "characters" we had in that class) to keep from asking the man where my tip was. I usually get a dollar tip when I deliver a $10 or $20 order, but for a $100 order I expected a bit more. Heck, the starving ER doctors usually give me at least $5 for their $30 orders. Oh well, I ought to be thankful I got anything, considering how tight so many people around here are.

Friday night I drove to Findlay and met everyone's friend Erin Miller for dinner at Denny's. We got to chat and "catch up" over some great diner food. Mmmm... We were later joined by my buddy Joel and our mutual friend Laura Schlabaugh (sp?). Finally, the candle on the cake arrived when Ms. Mandella Wolke stopped in to join the gathering. Erin had to eventually leave so that she could rest before a long day of library-esque work the next day, but the remaining four of us stayed at Denny's and discussed theology until around 1:00a.m. It was great conversation, and it was good to talk with friends (who are college students) after a long week of conversations that revolved around pizza production and Kenton gossip. After bidding farewell to my Bluffton friends, I stopped by one of Findlay's pubs to rescue an intoxicated friend from a boring group of people and get her tucked into bed. I then drove back to Kenton and Cherry Street to find my faithful, friendly bed waiting to receive me.

Saturday I woke around 11 and went for a walk before showering and preparing for my cousing Adam's wedding. Adam is one of the few relatives I ever really hung out with much as a child, and we spent a significant portion of our childhood racing our bikes, burning G.I. Joe men tied to popcicle sticks in the sandbox, and jumping on the trampolene while thinking of how we could write revisions of folktales and Disney movies. So I was really looking forward to seeing Adam again and getting to meet the young lady he had chosen to marry. Then only thing that made me slightly fearful/anxious was that Adam's wedding was a very CATHOLIC wedding (terrifying words to we Protestants who are used to 40 minute weddings). Well, the service went very well, without clear signs of any Protestant faux pas... that is, until the recitation of The Lord's Prayer. As we were saying the words out loud, I kept thinking in my mind: "Now they do something different with this...but what could it be?" And right when I got done saying those words in my mind, the Catholics (and some of the more knowledgeable Protestants) stopped speaking after "... but deliver us from evil." However, I, along with several others in the church, continued with "for Thine is the --" stopping abruptly and turning rather red. I stood frozen with my lips clamped tightly together watching several Catholic shoulders rise and fall in suppressed giggles. It was quite amusing. But the wedding music was very beautiful -- I'm tempted to start attending mass once a week in order to treat my ears to the soloists' angelic voices. Oh daddy.

Anyway, that was the wedding. I got to speak with Adam at the reception and found out that they bought a house only a couple blocks from my parents' house. I told him he had a week to enjoy the Mrs., and then I would be stopping by regularly... probably at meal times.

Sunday was a day of pajama lounging, pleasure reading, laundry doing, and pizza delivering.

Today, my first day off in a week, has consisted of relaxing in my bath robe with a hot cup of tea while watching old reruns of Daria and Nightcourt -- what a great combination, eh? I also forced myself into the shower and then went to the local Moose Lodge to donate blood at the Red Cross' bloodmobile. It was pretty uneventful, except that I did get to hear a male nurse jokingly badger an old Amish woman for filling her bag too quickly. I may have just been goofy from the blood loss, but I found it hard not to laugh when I heard him say: "Mattie, you're going too fast. You're wearing me out, Mattie, you bad, bad girl."

They gave us free coney dogs afterwards. They were warm and delicious.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Squeaky cheese, public urination, and 14 hours of pizza

I'm hoooooooome!

The autumn weather is next to perfect today and I want to take a walk before going to work, but I will make a quick post to update yalls on my most recent journey.

On Wednesday Joel and I left Bluffton around 2:30 on our sorjourn to Iowa (Joel's little brother had a cross-country competition of some kind). The trip there was pretty uneventful, although Joel nearly went the entire 500 miles without having to bring the van to a complete stop; he was determined to conserve as much gas as he could by not stopping the vehicle. We finally had to stop to pay a toll, wait for an acident to be cleared, and to get refill the gas tank somewhere in Iowa. We arrived at the Koerner homestead around 9p.m. Iowa time (not to be confused with Louisville time), and I crashed around 10:30, sleeping until 8:30 the next morning.

Thursday I explored some of Joel's town on foot while he did some visiting with relatives, and then his mom made us a great homemade meal for lunch. Mmmm... fresh mashed potatoes... mmm... Later that afternoon I went to the Kalona Cheese factory and bought some cheese curds (a.k.a. "squeaky cheese"), something I have made a point to buy everytime I'm in the area, and then Joel took me to meet a 99-year-old woman who is both a friend of the Koerner family, and is also Lynda Nyce's grandmother! She had me sign her guestbook and then had to dismiss herself, as she had two meetings to be getting to. I love that a 99-year-old lady has a busier agenda than I do! Ha-hyuck! We then went to watch the brother Koerner run, then we drove back to the Koerner house and prepared to depart for Ohio.

After getting through Chicago, a somewhat fatigued Joel pulled over somewhere in northwest Indiana to switch drivers. I needed to make water, so I had him pull up to a Taco Bell. The dinning room was closed, and all the other businesses around seemed closed as well. We didn't want to waste a lot of time driving around looking for a toilet, and I really needed to potty, so I waddled my Dutch self over to a group of pine trees that stood behind the Taco Bell drive thru menu board and did my business. The only bad thing was that after I was finished I realized that I was clearly visible from the opposite side of the drive thru...so a couple customers may have gotten a free show. Oh well, I would have been turned on by seeing me peeing, I'm sure they were too.

The rest of the drive home was great. I was growing more tired by the hour, but to stay awake I put in Joel's John Denver CD and sang "Country Roads," only changing "West Virginia, mountain mamma," to "Ooooohio, flat a## mamma." Yes, that was as creative as I could get at 2a.m. Joel and I also had some slightly disjointed conversation whenever I would wake him up to keep me awake. After dropping him off in Bluffton, I got home to my bed around 4:30a.m. and then had to get up at 10 for work. I was supposed to work 11 - 4, but because a driver quit, they asked if I would work an open to close (11a.m. - 1a.m.) I still don't know why I agreed to it, but I ended up working a 14 hour shift at Pizza Hut yesterday running on about 5 hours of sleep. It was painful to say the least, but I made about $60 in tips, so that helped. After work I bought some Pepsi to help me finish off some rum, went home, crawled in bed with my drinking glass, and slipped into one of the best sleeps of my life. *refreshing sigh*

Today found me rolling approximately $30 in coins, visiting the bank, and stuffing the last of the bell peppers from my garden. I now leave to walk before another -- much shorter -- shift at the Hut. Overall, it's been a good week. Friends, road trips, food from the garden, and urinating on a Taco Bell... life is good.

Peace.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Tour de Midwest

What an interesting and exciting time the past several days have afforded me. To avoid repeating too much of Maweeah's Blog, I'll just offer a quick recap of my weekend. Last Friday I rose with the sun to practice a bit before my 9:30 piano lesson. After a fairly successful time of working with my teacher on the left hand fingering of "Be Thou My Vision" I returned home to ready myself for a fun-filled afternoon of Pizza Slutting. The cold, gray weather seemed to have affected the masses' appetites, as we were dead for a Friday lunch shift. I had three deliveries and made a whopping $2 in tips. Wee. I escaped the Hut around 5 and returned home where I laundered and ate while preparing for my trip to the land of blue grass and KFC with Joel to visit our good friend Maria Blough (bcblomea to some of you). I met Joel in Bluffton around midnight-ish, and we caught a few hours of shut eye before heading out for Kentucky around 7 Saturday morning.

We made excellent (yes Maria, I do say that a lot) time and completely avoided ANY road construction! As Maria stated, we had a great weekend full of delicious ethnic food, great theatrical entertainment, and enjoyable company. It was a great chance to visit with both Maria and Joel, as well as add a new state to my list -- yes, I had never been to Kentucky before, ha-hyuck! Louisville seems to be an amazing city, from what I was able to see of it. If no major opportunities arise in my life, perhaps I'll have to put some thought into getting to know the city a bit better by spending more time there...like Maria's one housemate continuously suggested :) Maybe she's onto something.

Sadly, we had to bid farewell to the Blah Monday morning when the time of our parting arrived. I am kicking myself for not stealing a couch cushion or ever climbing into the reading nook, but oh well. On the way home Joel and I stopped in Florence, Kentucky (who's water tower displays "Florence, y'alls") to dine at a Kentucky Fried Chicken. We were sad to find the Colonel not working that day. We then got back to Bluffton around 3 in the afternoon and ate, watched recorded episodes of Simpsons and Family Guy, and had an enjoyable somewhat-deep, semi-philosophical conversation that lasted an hour or three. It reminded me of why, and how much, I enjoyed having a roommate.

Upon arising this morning (Tuesday) I gathered my things and was about to leave for Kenton when Joel asked if I would be interested in riding with him to Iowa tomorrow. I think his brother is running in some cross-country race or something on Thursday, and since it is very easy for me to trade shifts at work, I was able to get someone to work my Thursday shift by closing tonight. So tomorrow afternoon we're driving to Iowa, we'll arrive sometime around 9 or 10pm, spend thursday eating squeaky cheese and watching little Koerner run, then leave Iowa Thursday night and drive all through the night to be back to Ohio in time for Joel to attend class and for me to go to work. I'm looking forward to the trip, and the spontaneity of it all makes me feel young and invincible. But anyway, it amuses me that between Monday noon and Wednesday 9pm I will have been in Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Iowa, and will have crossed both the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers. Have free time, will travel.

Oh, one more thing. Before heading to Iowa tomorrow, I will first be stopping in Findlay to accompany my friend Chani to her sentancing for her D.U.I. conviction. She wants me to erupt into a fit of hysteria when the judge bangs the gavel, screaming "Oh God, no!" inbetween sobs. We'll see if I'm able to summon tears at 8:30a.m. though. Oh well. I must now retire, seeing how I'm due in court in six hours.

Later.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

In the beginning...

After much pressure from a few individuals I have done the impossible and carved out my own little niche in the world wide web. Here you will find my observations of and rants about the world around me. Also, a recurring item of discussion will be my inability to overcome the indecision that has plagued my life of late. In the posts to come you will get to read of my struggles to discern what I can, want to, and need to do now that I am graduated from college. There will also be potentially humorous anecdotes shared from my life as a post-college pizza delivery boy in a small, Midwestern redneck town. Finally, as the title of my blog might suggest, one can plan on encountering some degree of narcissism and pro-Netherlands propoganda while navigating this site. AAAHHH Motherland!

Happy reading. Cheers!